Zoe is 4 Months! ..and I want to stop time

Zoe turned 4 months on Tuesday, this celebratory blog post had to wait until her 4 month check up and picture upload so that Stats and new Pictures could be provided of course.

Zoe is now: weighing a hearty 14lbs 2 ounces (62.55 Percentile)

                    26 Inches Long. This puts her into the 96th Percentile.  When I heard this I felt compelled to point out to her Pediatrician that the parents standing before him were both "not tall", He didn't seem to think Zoe had Gigantism so that cut out my next line of questioning.  I am sure we were all relieved, me that I wouldn't be chasing down a 6'9" 4 year old, he that he may get out of our appointment in under an hour this time.  (Our Pedi is a patient man)

Her head circumference is 40.4 cm, I think if we didn't include her hair she would have been 40 cm on the dot.

Zoe has been up to A LOT lately.  Most recently her disdain for tummy time has turned into more of a love/hate thing then ever.  Just in the past few days she has become ALL ABOUT rolling onto her belly.  She will enjoy it for a little, get all smiley and proud of herself. Then starts speaking in wookiee to request assistance back to her back. She likes to showoff her new trick to her sleep sheep and mobile friends while sleeping, I am NOT a fan. Again, Pediatrician says shes safe cause she can roll on her own.  I insist on putting her back on her back and lecturing her on sleep safety.

Zoe has also become quite a little chatter box.  she now also prefers her fingers to her Paci.

She and Ryann also recently expanded their social circle and had a play date with all the girlfriends from  the BF support Group

Zoe and Ryann weren't embarrassed that they showed up in the same pants, they cant help what Mommas put them in.

They said they still like their play dates when Mommas have lunch with "The Hoes" cause they get to hear how pretty they are. and have either Dessert or Riesling

I cannot believe how Big our Zoe has got.  And she is so responsive and smiley. Did I mention she loves to have her belly Raspberried? This is the sure fire way to get her to "laugh".  The quotations are because we knows it her laugh but its not quite the traditional giggle sound.  Its more of a hiccup telling a joke. But its pretty much my favorite thing in the world right now.  I love this stage.  She SLEEPS at night, we get smiles and recognition from her, and she's all small and SO Stinkin adorable.

If I could keep her like this forever I just might be tempted but I way too curious about this little person she is becoming, Its great getting to know her.

Growing Up is Hard to do

Without a doubt in the past year plus I have done more growing up and decision making than I have my entire adult life.
Married October 9th, "BFP" November 1st, Buying a House in May, Z's debut in July. That's all part of the reason why I am here blogging. Slow it down and write in down. And I secretly love when people tell me they read it or even just like the Pics of Zoe.  Call me an Attention Whore.

But YEAH, Like way to starting questioning every decision you make.  For Instance, I purchased more bottles online last night (which brings up my burgeoning love affair with diapers.com and Soap.com).

Do I really need more?
Is it just that I HATE washing bottles.
We only have 4.  Whats normal?
Maybe try something more Basic.
WHY Do Dr. Browns have no MANY STINKING parts?!
They really work well.
OK lets  try out a basic, its a $6 investment
Do I REALLY need to keep using glass?
YES you never know.
REALLY, do you just not want to was them aka run the dishwasher with next to nothing in it?
Oh yeah, we need dish detergent too?
Will it kill us and our planet if I don't use 7th Generation?
Ehhhh... Better Not risk it.
Back to the Bottles.
Yah stick with Glass.
What if cause they are heavier she never learns to hold her own bottle and shes "behind"
"Behind" in bottle holding? Is there really such a thing?
Do I really mean "We'll always have to hold it for her"
Is that the Bad Momma alarm, I hear?
Nope.
Its the lunatic alarm, put down the online shopping for everyday items, Kim.

For real, Sometime it feels like every small decision I make all of a sudden has HUGE ramifications.  And I do put a lot of though into things and I have to be willing to take some trial and error.

Will cascade and and a plastic bottle mean certain doom for my family and planet? Probably not.
But then again, I didn't risk it either.  I am willing to bet every person, mother or not, wife or not, Pet owner, Frat boy, homeowner, renter, living a van down by the river-er Feels that way. at least sometimes.  If I do take A will I later regret not doing B? B might be better. Is it really? or are "they" just trying to scare you??

You know "They".  The person who could read and not relate but tell me I am not being careful enough?  This goes so beyond bottles and dish detergent. I KNOW, I'll BANK on it. That despite our best efforts to do right by each other, our home and Zoe someone at some point will say (God Held Them) or think, "Ohhhh Bad Call" and some will sound the crazy alarm.  HECK, I have been both people.  But Life is just one choice after the next. Some are small (see above, I realise this) and some are huge. (Marry Me? Have a Baby?) But in the end, I'll just keep reminding myself of what my Mom said:

 "As long as you try your best, Ill be proud of you"

And to all my girls out there, Don't forget to be proud of you too.

I will not stop my introspective,self indulgent rambling and return to our normally scheduled Cute Zoe pic posts

3 Months

Our little muffin will be 4 months next week.

So in my efforts to be thorough, I have to at least post her 3 month picture

 AGAIN?! with the camera momma?

Is there drool on my chin?

Time just runs together but this is when Zoe started sleeping her crib.  Bruno and I kept putting it off.  We just liked having her nearby, it gave us peace of mind.  But when we had both my brother, Rita and Cousin Gabriella  and family from the Azores staying with us Bruno and I camped out in the nursery with Zoe.  So Zoe's first nights in her crib were spent with Mommy and Daddy sleeping on the floor next to her.  I was actually cursing the breathable bumper cause it blocked my perfect view from the air mattress of my little pumpkin sleeping.  But when we returned to our room Zoe didn't seem to mind in the slightest :(  Mommy and Daddy had a harder time with the change.  

The reason  why we did have so much family staying with us was for Zoe's Christening! Zoe was Christened on October 9th, our 1 year anniversary.  In the same Church, First Church in Weymouth.

October 9th 2011

October 9th 2010

We feel truly blessed to have this day mean so much to us 2 years in a row.  First Church also means a lot me.  Its my childhood church and the congregation there has been so warm and friendly to Bruno as we started trying to go "at least once a month" since a year out from our wedding.   We are by no means "religious" people but we want somewhere for Zoe to learn and have a base to shape her own religious beliefs and this is the place.  

"Weekend Update"

...Not With Kevin Nealon.

Saturday surprised me, I went out to do errands with Mom. and everything became about Christmas.  We went to Carters to return some things. and Zoe "needed" some ruffle butt tights.  She has moved into her 6 months clothes. (I really can't believe it) and now has some dresses I can't wait to put on her. Carters being Carters has great holiday "outfits".  Now I know KK can appreciate the difference between a Halloween costume VS. a Halloween Outfit, So I am sure at least she understands the need for a Christmas "outfit" and a "Christmas Dress".  Well we are all set in Christmas outfit now we can look for her Christmas Dress

Okay, And this too.

And we cannot completely forget about Thanksgiving, it is her first and the bib is just too sweet.  It will also be the first time Bruno and I host Thanksgiving dinner.  (WHEN did I become an adult?)

Another errand was shopping for Hallmark Ornaments for the family.  This is a long standing tradition with my Mom.  I think my brother, John and I had more Ornaments then anyone who actually had homes and families by the time either of us were out of High School. I am very much looking forward to having a full size tree to display them this year.

Lastly, we went to Michaels.  Growing up, Our first stockings were ones my Mom made us so I couldn't resist the challenge of making Zoe's for her.  I am not a sewer.  I bought a kit and I think theres about 50 some odd pieces of felt to cut out along the way but I did get it started:

Sequins Sewn: I counted about 80 so far. 

I have never in my life thought about Christmas this early.  I am just beyond excited that this in Zoe's first Christmas.  and I know she wont remember it but we will. And I want to start traditions and carry on traditions for her so when she is older she can have her own special memories.

Today, was Great.  We did "nothing" (except sew sequins onto felt).  We just lounged, Bruno made some delicious pumpkin pancakes and watched football (Grr, Patriots, Grr).  It was so good for us, we needed it.  We actually marked it on the calendar so we wouldnt be tempted to make other plans.  Definetly recommend a forced "Nothing" Day.

Catching Up: 2 Months

2 Months. Was sort of a big deal.

Zoe and Ryann were both old enough where they could go on lunch dates to the Nordstom Bistro.  This was just the first of many outtings they would and will take together.

Zoe's 2 month check up had a lot to cover.  There was shots. and no shots.  Height, Weight, and which I cant recall at the moment (Bad Mommy!) but I assure they were wonderful.  Despite our confession of not doing tummy time cause Zoe doesn't "like it", The wonderful Dr. Hjort assured us that we had not ruined ger forever and she by some miracle shoes great head control.

We also had to talk about her damn milk allergy.  I had worked quite hard at this point to get up and running breastfeeding but around 5 or 6 weeks Zoe started showing undeniable signs of having a Milk Protein allergy.  Quite scary and unpleasant.  After faithfully sticking to an milk and soy free diet on my part poor Miss Zoe was still having blood and mucous in her stool. She was a Little Trooper despite all of it and was her usual smiling happy and self. Again.  So Lucky.

Our Second Big Chat:

"One of Zoe's eyes dialates more than the other"  I noticed it early on but had trouble getting anyone else to notice.  But soon Bruno could tell too so we brought up at her 2 month.  Dr Hjort first congratulated us on catching it and said it could be nothing or could be something so we should get it looked at.  Long story short: we saw a local pedicatic opthamologist and it tooks a lot of tears on Zoe and I's parts for him tell us.  Her right eye just didnt dialte, and he didnt see enough of that sort of thing.  This got us going back to Waltham to see a specialist at Childrens.  Who was amazing.  Nobody cried this time. and its not glaucoma, its not a sign of some disease, there is simply a defect and her eye doesnt dialte.  well this tells me 2 things:  We are again. very lucky.  I am sure there were more then one set of new parents who left there that day hearing a lot worse then "its nothing to worry about".  and 2: Zoe isnt great at dialating things such as her right eye and my cervix.  We wil follow up on it and it couldnt even start to dialte but bottom line is she see just fine. Our beautiful girl. and then we went to 'In a Pickle' cause I really miss their breakfast.

And a few days after her 2 month Bday, I had to go back to work.  The blow was softned by Bruno staying home with her for the week to spend time with her. Which I thought was awesome, and do did Zoe. I am very lucky that I work a fairly short day, Have fridays off, and work 1 mile from home. AKKA is awesome and most days she goes to work with before My Mom or Hannah can pick her up. Another great thing is she is with people who love her. But I miss her so much I can physically feel it when I am not with her.

Who wouldn't love Zoe?
I know I dont how to tell her or anyone how much I do.

One Year Ago Today..

For no real reason aside from a hunch and knowing it would be a sparring night, I stopped at a store on my way to work and bought a pregnancy test.

I was hardly "late" and wasnt even sure I was cause I rarely keep track.  I figured it was just anxiety since it was the first month since Bruno and I had "pulled the Goalie" as we decided long ago Once we married we would "see what happens".  Afterall, these things take time.

We were incredibly beyond words blessed.

I will never take lightly how lucky we were for what happened next.

At work, Yes in the bathroom at AKKA, I took the pregnancy test.  I tried not to look as I waited the 2 minutes the results took, but those 2 pink lines were there before I had a chance not to look. It was unbelieveable.

I had no clue what to do with myself!!!  I was in disbelief, and I couldnt tell Bruno for hours.  I called my PCP and despite them assuring me at home test were very accurate and insisted I needed a blood test.  Life changing events take more notification than something you buy at Wal-Mart, right? I couldnt even attempt to drink my coffee, pregnant women dont drink coffee and I was pregnant! I thought of all the things Pregant women shouldnt do that I had done since our wedding:  drinks on the cruise, Rides at 'The Wizarding World of Harry Potter' all which had signs warning Pregnant woman not to ride (which bruno pointed out jokingly or so we thought each time) and our usual Halloween festivties.

I wish I had thought of someone sweet memroable way to tell Bruno he was going to be a Dad. Nope, I put the test where he put his keys and stuff when he came home and just followed him around the apartment impatiently till he did, then when he did I walked away.  Shock, Awe and "wow, really?" followed.  Well, were on the same page.

The rest of the night we just sat and talked about how happy we were, how nervous we were, how lucky were. How "we" was going to be three. We joked about what the baby would be like, who we we would tell, when we would tell, kept checking to make sure we read the test right.

2 pink lines.


changed everything.  And we couldnt be happier.

Happy Halloween (one day Later)!!!!

Love, Zoe